When I were a lad the 12-bar was the thing all the old rockers did in pubs and was to be avoided like Genesis and Rush albums. But sometimes it’s just so easy to do one - and sometimes it seems right. It’s this kind of song that makes me wonder how great and yet how awful it would be to have a band playing along. Anyway, beware young man; it’s a thin line between determined crazy irresistible love and stalking. It’ll be illegal soon enough though so that’s OK. A not-quite-documentary song.
lyrics
Stalker Boy
You’ve obviously lost my address and phone number
And mobile and e-mail, my Mum’s house and pager
And all those other ways you could get in touch
Stalker boy wants you and stalker boy needs you
Stalker boy can help and stalker boy pleads with you
I just wanted to know where you lived and who your friends are
And which bus you catch and where you buy your clothes
And where you go, when the night time’s cold
Stalker boy’s not evil he’ll even let you leave
When he’s sung his song in your bedroom
My uncle was strange, my mother was unstable
My father died, I was brought up in a stable
Like all those other guys who were not quite right
Stalker boy’s not evil he’s just a ball of semen
Bowling his way to your top drawer
I’ve got DVD and mobile, super 8 and high 8
Instamatic web cam on 3D TVs
And I know you’re Polaroid, of my tie-pin mic
Stalker boy wants you and stalker boy needs you
Stalker boy can help and stalker boy pleads with you
credits
from Illegal Songs,
released January 14, 2008
John Parkes
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