Let's Make Love

from Illegal Songs by John Parkes

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about

There was a warning on the radio that you need specific permission from your potential partner if you want to have sex. Well, first of all let’s get on the record that I’m not in favour of non consensual sex (unless its something done to me by a very select number of individuals I’m not prepared to name). However, when was the last time you got explicit permission? Does a hand down the trousers count? (No is the answer to that by the way) - And does it all mean you can’t have sex if you’ve also had a drink or a smoke or a hard day at work (though that hardly ever happens, obviously)? Good of the authorities to get involved though eh? This could well be ‘the comedy song’ from the album.

lyrics

Let’s Make Love

I met a girl the other night, we both seemed keen
She was a little more than just 17, if you know what I mean
We talked for a while I took a gamble, said she was the girl of my dreams
So she asked me for a DNA sample, I introduced her to my legal team

Let’s make love together if the government says OK
Let’s make love together when the consent forms are stamped and filed away

Test the smoke alarm and you can light the candles
If the health and safety rules are obeyed
Pay with plastic, remove all elastic, the restaurant might not be insured
Take me home and do it to me baby, yeah lay lady, lay
Check my ID and I’ll start the risk assessment
If the condom tests stand up OK

Let’s make love together if terms can be agreed
Let’s make love together if your contract lawyer and briefs are up to speed

Just to check you’re not carrying explosives, sharp objects or animals or fruit
Fines to pay if I see my sperm on ebay, or your underwear or birthday suit
Be mine if you pass the breathalyser and the health tests indicate rude
Get insured to shoot or sue your suitor if consent has been misconstrued

Let’s make love together if the state can be appeased
Let’s make love together if work mates and families agree
Let’s make love together if the government says OK
Let’s make love together as our personal freedom slips and slides away

credits

from Illegal Songs, released January 14, 2008
John Parkes

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John Parkes Leeds, UK

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